


I Hate My Job

by BeccaAnne814



Series: Bucky Barnes x Reader Series [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blood, Death, F/M, Fire, Gunshot Wounds, PG-13 Sexual Themes, Violence, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 12:53:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11441286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaAnne814/pseuds/BeccaAnne814
Summary: You are a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that gets assigned the worst job, in your opinion.





	1. Chapter 1

You had the worst job in the world. You absolutely dreaded getting up in the morning and going to work. This is not what you had thought you'd be doing when you joined S.H.I.E.L.D. all those years ago. 

You spent every day thinking you were better than this, but your boss disagreed. He had handpicked you for this assignment, mostly because you couldn't stand the people you worked with.

Life had started out great for you. You were the middle child of seven, three older brothers and three younger. You dad had so many sons, that he sort of forgot that you were a girl. Instead of ballet lessons, it was Karate and Tae Kwon Do. You learned to hunt with both a rifle and a bow, and you were an excellent shot. In college most girls took gigs as lifeguards or at The Gap, but you spent the summers training to be a rescue diver and EMT. 

There wasn't much you couldn't do, so it was no surprise that after college, you put in an application for Quantico. When men in suits showed up at your door, though, it wasn't the FBI. Back then he was known as Agent Coulson and he immediately sold you on the idea of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. 

You were happy being an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., and then the Battle of New York happened. Then came AIM, followed by Ultron, and finally those idiots you work with decided to get their panties in a bunch and turn on one another. That was the last straw for Director Coulson. He knew what you thought of The Team, so he knew you wouldn't get all "star struck" and lose focus of your agenda. You were assigned to basically babysit them and keep them from trying to kill each other again.

Your fellow agents thought you job was the absolute best. They told you time and time again that they would love to trade places with you. You got the opportunity to work with the best of the best and you should feel lucky.

Lucky? Lucky was the last thing you felt as you drove up to the compound in upstate New York. And that was another thing! You had to leave the city you loved to move to the middle of nowhere so the divas could have some privacy. You absolutely refused to live with them, as well as work with them, so Coulson let you rent a small house a few miles away from the compound. It was the only thing saving your sanity.

You sat in the car outside of the compound waiting for the clock to turn to 8:00 am. You refused to go in a minute early unless there was a mission on the books. You took the few minutes to outline the reasons why you hated each and every person in that building.

Where to start? That was easy. You start with the one who thinks he's God's Gift to mankind. The Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist. What a piece of work. This guy thought every woman in the world was itching to crawl into bed with him, you included! You were quick to set him straight that first day. 

Then there was his best friend. You would've thought a Colonel in the U.S. Air Force would have more sense than to let God's Gift put him in a tin can to play superhero. You almost felt sorry for the guy when he almost died, but then the Numbskull learned how to walk again, and what did he do? Right back in the tin can.

Going down the list, you came to the Mad Scientist. He mostly came across as a mild-mannered dork who told cheesy dad jokes. Say one word, though and, well, anger management issues is an understatement.

Then God's Gift and the Mad Scientist had to go and create some crazy Artificial Intelligence/Android and make him part of the team. The thing was bright purple! He reminded you of Data from Star Trek, so that's what you called him in your head.

Data had been created from some gemstone the Alien's evil brother had brought to Earth during the Battle of New York. You didn't trust the guy. I mean, can you really trust an alien with advanced technology? How long before he decides to take over the world?

The Kid, you totally didn't understand. A radioactive spider bit him and now he shoots webs out of his wrists! He was still in High School, he had no business fighting battles with people who could actually kill him. Didn't he have some homework to do?

Alice was another one you didn't get. Sometimes he was normal sized and then he'd shrink and then he'd be a giant. It reminded you of Alice in Wonderland eating and drinking all the crazy food. He rarely came to New York, so you mostly knew about him from his file.

Robin Hood wasn't too bad, he was almost normal. He had a wife and three kids and lived on a farm most of the time. He didn't get on your nerves too much, but he was rarely around. Now, his friends on the other hand? He had a bad habit of picking up strays, and not the cute little innocent strays that tug at your heartstrings. His strays could kill you in under a second and never break a nail doing it.

First he brought in the Russian Spy. She was as deadly as she was beautiful. She had tried to make friends with you, but can you really trust a spy? You were sure she had an agenda, and you would eventually figure it out.

His other stray was just Weird. She had also been created from the Alien's gemstone, but since she was human to begin with, it just gave her strange powers. She could read your mind and make you hallucinate. She could also move things with her mind. She'd never tried anything funny with you, but you kept an eye on her when she was around.

We can't forget about Mr. Star Spangled Banner, now can we? That guy was just too much. God's Gift's dad, another mad scientist if you the truth be told, went and shot him up with some tricked out steroids back in the 40's. Then the idiot crashed a plane in the arctic and was frozen for 70 years. Everything thawed out okay, everything that is, except the gigantic stick up his butt. 

His two BFF's were the two you dreaded being around the most. They fought and bickered like an old married couple. The bird thought he was so smooth with his How You Doin'? every time you walked into a room. You weren't here to be flirted with, you had a job to do.

The last one, well there's a reason you thought of him last. He just simply terrified you. He was also a lab experiment from the 40's, except he'd been captured by Hydra, tortured, brain washed, and had his mind wiped so many times he barely knew who he was anymore. He'd been one of the deadliest assassins in the world until Mr. Star-Spangled Banner thought he could be rehabilitated. His metal arm reminded you of the Terminator, not to mention the cold, dead look that stayed on his face most of the time. You went out of your way to avoid him, and so far, it seemed he was doing the same to you. No one would hear you complain.

Glancing at the clock on your dashboard, you saw that it was 8:00 am on the dot. Time to steel your resolve and get the day over with. You just hoped that a mission didn't come in today. You had plans to watch the new Gilmore Girls series on Netflix tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

You walked into the compound at exactly 8:00 am, hoping to have a quiet day to spend in the conference room filing the reports from the last mission. God's Gift was waiting for you in the conference room, so you knew today was not going to start off on a good note.

"Mr. Stark, is there something you need?" you asked as you set your bag on the conference room table.

"Actually, Agent (Y/L/N), there is," Stark replied. "I've just had a talk with Director Coulson about you."

"Did you try to get me fired?" you asked, trying to keep the excitement out of your voice.

"As a matter of fact," he snarled at you, "I did. Coulson won't hear of it though."

"Well, you obviously didn't try hard enough," you said, rolling your eyes at the insufferable man.

Stark just glared at you. You could've cared less, he always glared at you. You knew he despised you as much as you despised him.

"Coulson has decided that things need to change around here," Stark began to explain. "As of today, you will be moving into the compound."

"WHAT?" You screamed at the man. "Coulson and I had a deal. . ."

"Yeah?" Stark interrupted. "Well, so did we. Trust me when I say, I don't want you here anymore than you want to be here. In fact, I'd rather have Barnes here more than you!"

You knew Stark hated you, but to hear that he would rather have the man who killed his parents living here over you, really put things in perspective.

"This is your place," you told him. "If you don't want me here, then I won't be here."

"Not that simple," Stark explained. "Coulson said he would yank the S.H.I.E.L.D. support from our missions if I didn't go along with this. I truly have no idea what makes you so special."

"I wouldn't call it special," you said. "Cursed is a better word. So, I guess I should be heading back home to start packing."

"Well," Stark drawled. "Coulson already has a crew at your house packing you up now."

"He didn't!" you yelled. 

"He wanted to make sure that you really did move in today." Stark said as he began to leave the room. "Didn't want to give you any wiggle room."

You collapsed into one of the overstuffed chairs and tried your best not to break down. You didn't understand what was going on. How could the Director go back on his word like this? Why was your involvement with this team so important to him? Gathering your wits, you decided to find out once and for all what was really going on. 

Walking over to the comm system, you opened a line to S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters and asked to speak directly to Director Coulson. The agent on the other end patched you right through. It was almost as if he was expecting your call!

"Agent (Y/L/N)," Director Coulson said as his holographic image appeared before you. "Before you say anything, let me explain."

"I'm listening," you gritted between your teeth, anger seething within you.

"I know we had an agreement," he began, "but it's just not working out. I really need you to be on-site to ready to leave at a moment's notice. We tried it your way, but it's causing a delay and those extra few minutes could prove invaluable in certain situations."

"I understand your reasoning, sir," you replied. "I just don't understand why it has to be me. There are so many other agents that would kill for this assignment. Why don't you assign one of them?"

"We've gone over this before," he said as he rubbed his hand over his face. "Your background with weaponry and hand-to-hand combat far surpass most of the agents within the organization. Not to mention your medical training. I had thought your indifference to the team would help you stay grounded. I don't understand why you dislike them so much."

"I don't think they can be trusted," you explained. "They are a hodgepodge of lab experiments and defected spies and assassins. We have some of the most highly trained agents at our disposal. This Team has already proven how dangerous they can be when they don't see eye to eye on something. Is it wise to put our faith in them?"

"That's why I assigned you there," Coulson told you. "You don't see them as anything special. You see their faults and I had hoped that would keep them humble. I misjudged your disdain for them. That's another reason why I want you to stay at the compound 24/7. Your attitude needs to change in order for this to work. I'm not saying I want to you to fall in love with them, but you do need to learn to trust them and they need to learn to trust you."

"What if I quit?" you asked.

"You're a government agent, through and through," Coulson said with a grin. "You wouldn't know how to be anything else."

"You're right," you admitted with a dejected sigh. "I'll figure out a way to make this work. At least Thanksgiving is coming up, so I will have a little time away."

"About that," Coulson grimaced. "I'm cancelling your leave. This will be a good time to work on your trust issues."

"Fine," you seethed, "but I'm not giving up Christmas."

"We'll see," he said as he severed the connection.

You walked back over to your retrieve your bag. Stark was waiting for you in the common room. You asked him to show you to your new room. Looking back toward the wall of windows, you saw the moving van pulling up to the compound. Coulson didn't waste any time. You followed Stark down the hall to see where you would be living for the foreseeable future.

 

 

You spent the rest of the day unpacking what Coulson had deemed necessary for you to have at the compound. Most of your furniture had to be placed into storage, only your personal belongings and clothes had been brought over. The thought of strange men handling your underwear creeped you out a bit, but everything looked to have been packed in a professional manner. 

You were grateful that they had brought your tiny microwave and your TV. You would have hated to have to go to kitchen constantly, or have to share the TV with the rest of the team. 

You finished unpacking around 3:30, so you decided to call it a day. You threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave and turned on the TV so you could at least watch Gilmore Girls. 

Just as you were pouring the popcorn into a bowl, someone knocked on the door. You figured your luck would have to run out eventually. Everyone had left you alone to get unpacked in peace, but you guessed they wouldn't let you hide in your room forever.

You opened the door to find the Femme Fatale standing on the other side.

"Agent Romanoff," you said. "What can I do for you?"

"I thought I smelled popcorn," she said as she grabbed the bowl from your hand and walked into the room. She took a moment to look around before she looked at the TV screen. "You're going to watch the new Gilmore Girls?"

"Yes," you said cautiously, not sure where this conversation was going.

"Great! I've been dying for it to come out," she said as she made herself comfortable on your bed. 

"Agent. . ." you began.

"It's Natasha or Nat," she said patting the bed beside her. "Now, come on, the popcorn's getting cold."

Just when you thought you day couldn't get any worse! You took a deep breath, and resigning yourself to your fate, closed the door and joined the redhead on the bed. You were about to press play when another knock sounded on the door. Before you could say a word, Natasha was calling out that the door was unlocked. How You Doin' opened the door and peeked his head in.

"I thought I smelled popcorn," he said as he walked into the room, leaving the door open behind him.

"We're just getting ready to watch the new Gilmore Girls, want to join?" the intrusive woman invited before you could stop her.

"Are you kidding?" he said as he strolled over to the bed and squeezed in beside you. "I totally forgot this came out today!"

"Did I hear you say Gilmore Girls?" Mr. Star Spangled Banner said, popping his head around the corner of the doorway. "Is that popcorn?"

"Yeah, man," How You Doin' answered. "(Y/N) invited us to hang out and watch it with her."

Your mouth fell open at his statement. You most certainly did not invite anyone into your room to "hang out." You started to correct him, but Mr. Star Spangled Banner said something that had your mouth closing shut with a snap.

"Hey, Buck!" he called down the hall. "We're all going to watch Gilmore Girls in (Y/N)'s room. There's popcorn!"

Mr. Star Spangled Banner walked into the room, grabbed a handful of popcorn and sat in the floor at the foot of your bed. It was only a few seconds before the Terminator walked in and did the same thing. You were paralyzed with shock at the turn of events. How did this happen? What did you do to deserve this? Most importantly, you thought to yourself as you pressed play, how were you going to fix this?


	3. Chapter 3

You woke up the next morning absolutely exhausted. You had thought the four interlopers would never leave your room last night. They insisted on dissecting ever single moment of all four episodes. 

How You Doin' was all, "I can't believe Lorelai did that." 

To which the Femme Fatale would respond, "Of course she did that, she's Lorelai! But what about Rory? What was she thinking?"

Mr. Star Spangled Banner chimed in his two cents lamenting over the fact that he thought that Dean was the best guy for Rory.

The Terminator disagreed though. He didn't like that Dean had cheated on his wife with Rory. He thought Jess was the guy for her. Leave it to him to have a soft spot for the bad boy!

At least they could all agree that Christopher was a douche and that Luke was Lorelai's one true love. After over an hour, they finally realized that you hadn't said a word. 

The Femme Fatale asked for your opinion, to which you replied, "I loved it, but you four need to get out now! I'm exhausted and I want my room back!"

The guys seemed a bit chagrinned by their behavior, but not the ex-Russian spy. She just got up off your bed and left without a word. The nerve of her! It wasn't like you had invited them in. Yet again, they thought they were so perfect and everyone wanted to be their friend. They really had no idea how insufferable they were!

Coming back to the present, you realized that something had woken you up, but you didn't know what. You laid in bed for a moment, trying to figure out what had interrupted your sleep. 

Then you heard it, whatever it was. It was a familiar sound, but you couldn't put your finger on it. You knew you recognized it, but your sleep-deprived brain wasn't functioning yet. You listened for it again, and when it sounded right outside of your door, you immediately knew what it was.

You jumped up out of bed and ran to your bedroom door. Yanking it open, you came face to face with a giant wild turkey. 

"Why in the hell is there a turkey in the hallway?" you yelled.

"(Y/N)!" came a voice down the hall. The sudden noise startled the turkey, and with a loud squawk, it spreads its wings and took off running down the hallway.

Distracted by the bird, you didn't notice Fabio until he picked you up in a bone-crushing bear hug.

"The son of Coul informed me that you had finally decided to reside in the stronghold," he began as he set you back on your feet.

"Didn't really have much choice in the matter," you told him.

"It is best, do you not think?" Fabio asked, a tender look on his face. "After what happened. . . well, just know that we will always be your family."

You were confused for a moment, but this was Fabio. He had no idea what was going on half the time, so you chose to ignore his cryptic statement. Your thoughts were interrupted by more shouting down the hall.

"What in the hell is a turkey doing in the common room?" you heard God's Gift screaming. "Whose idea of a prank is this? Wilson? Romanoff?"

Sprinting toward the common room, you and Fabio found most of the Avengers circled around the startled bird. The turkey was running around in circles, feathers flying everywhere, while God's Gift chased the bird, trying to catch it.

"Jane informed me of the Midgardian tradition of Thanksgiving and the sacrificial offering of a fowl," he explained, a smile beaming on his face. "I will be joining Jane and Darcy on the morrow, so I brought the bird to you as a token of our friendship."

"Thor, you idiot!" How You Doin' screamed. "You're not supposed to bring a live turkey to Thanksgiving, you're supposed to go to the grocery store and buy a frozen one!"

"I do not understand," Fabio said. "Is it not part of the tradition for friends to kill and eat the bird together?"

At this point, Mr. Star Spangled Banner, the Femme Fatale, and the Terminator were laughing so hard, they were crying. God's Gift was still trying to catch the bird, but the turkey was proving quite elusive.

"For heaven's sake!" you cried out. "You're supposed to be Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and you can't figure out what to do with a wild turkey?"

You marched back to your room and grabbed your crossbow off the wall. Thank goodness Coulson had decided to have your personal weapons shipped in the move. You went back to the common room, yelled at God's Gift to get out the way, and expertly put a bolt through the turkey's heart. 

"You're welcome!" you exclaimed. "I killed it, someone else is plucking it!"

 

 

Most of the team had decided to visit friends or family for the holiday, so the only ones that remained at the compound were you, God's Gift, the Femme Fatale, Mr. Star Spangled Banner, How You Doin', and the Terminator. God's Gift had decided to assign each member a different part of the meal to cook, so you quickly volunteered to make your Grandma's Sweet Potato Casserole. If you couldn't spend the holiday with your family, you would at least make your favorite dish.

You were in the kitchen, waiting for the casserole to finish baking, when you decided to call your dad, but the call went straight to voicemail.

"Dad," you began. "I just wanted to call and see how everyone is doing. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. Wish I were there; wish I were anywhere but here! Tell everyone I love them and I'll see you all soon."

Hanging up the phone, you turned around to find Mr. Star Spangled Banner looking at you with an odd expression on his face. You could almost swear it was pity. Maybe he actually felt bad that Coulson had forced you to skip the holiday with your family and spend it with them.

"I'm almost done making my casserole," you said. "Do you need the kitchen?"

"I'm on mashed potato duty," he explained, a grin spreading across his face. "One thing I know how to do is boil potatoes. They should be done, all I need to do is run them through the mixer."

The timer on the oven went off, and you automatically opened the door to retrieve your casserole.

"(Y/N)!" he yelled as you reached for the casserole with your bare hand. "Use a pot holder!"

As you jerked your hand back from the casserole dish, Mr. Star Spangled Banner grabbed your arm, dragging you to the sink. He thrust your hand under the faucet and turned on the cold water.

"I'm fine, Rogers," you told him as you turned you hand over to inspect it. "There's not even a burn."

"You need to be more careful, (Y/N)," he cautioned you as you pulled the casserole out of the oven, this time using a pot holder.

 

 

You didn't ask if the turkey was the one Fabio brought, but it was delicious nonetheless. You hated to admit it, but dinner was actually nice. You wanted them to be loud and obnoxious so you could find another reason to hate them, but they weren't. They laughed and told stories, trying their best to include you. They complimented you on your sweet potatoes and between How You Doin' and the Terminator, the dish was scraped clean before the end of dinner.

The hardest moment was when they all decided to go around the table and share what they were thankful for that year. God's Gift was thankful that Pepper was finally talking to him again, even if she was keeping him at arm's length. How You Doin' was thankful that he had even found the Avengers and that they had welcomed him with open arms. The Femme Fatale said she was thankful for being allowed to try to redeem herself and wipe some of the red from her ledger. Mr. Star Spangled Banner was thankful that he had found the Terminator, and that the Fluffy Kitty with Bad Claws had been able to undo Hydra's brainwashing. The Terminator was thankful for the memories that were slowly starting to return.

When the time came for you to share, you froze. When God's Gift first suggested the activity, you had thought, "Like I have anything to be thankful for! I'm stuck here with these people I hate when I should be with my family." Now that you had listened to everyone bare their souls, you were torn. You were forced to admit that they weren't just lab experiments and defected spies and assassins. These were human beings. People with feelings, with hopes and desires, people who just wanted to make a difference in the world. Without answering, you quickly excused yourself and retreated to your room.


	4. Chapter 4

You went out of your way to avoid the team the next day. Your feelings were too chaotic to make any sense of what had happened the night before. You'd spent so much time and energy hating them. Now you were actually starting to like them, and you didn't know what you were supposed to do with that. You had managed to stay hidden in your room until late into the evening, when you heard a knock on your door. Cautiously opening the door, you were surprised to find the Terminator standing on the other side. He looked as uncomfortable knocking on your door as you felt opening it.

"Steve wanted me to let you know that we have a mission," he said, only glancing at you for a moment. "We need to meet in the conference room now."

"Why didn't he just ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to tell me?" you asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously.

"Actually, I volunteered to come to tell you," he almost whispered, daring to meet your eyes long enough to gauge your reaction. "I know how I felt when I first got here and Stark would use F.R.I.D.A.Y. to summon me. I didn't want you to feel like that."

"Oh," you muttered as your eyes grew large with disbelief. "I don't understand, why do you care how I feel?"

"(Y/N)," he began, a sad look coming over his features. "Of course I. . . I mean we care about you. You're a part of this team. Anyway, that's not the point. We really need to get to the briefing."

You followed the Terminator down the hallway, watching him as he walked in front of you. You couldn't explain why the look on his face a moment ago bothered you so much. You didn't understand why he was being so nice all of a sudden. As you started to think about it, you realized that it wasn't all of a sudden. He had always tried to be nice to you, but he was still awkward around people, and you hadn't made it easy for others to be nice. 

Guilt started to wash over you once again as you recognized the fact that you had misjudged these people, him especially. Why did you ever think that you had to be afraid of him? Yes, he could look pretty scary with that dark, shaggy hair and those distant eyes. But those eyes held more pain than they did malice, but you had only seen what you had wanted to see. You finally realized what you were thankful for; you were thankful that maybe it wasn't too late repair the damage you had caused these past few months. No more snide comments, no more hateful looks, no more hiding in your room, and especially no more nasty nicknames. 

Walking into the conference room, you sat beside Barnes and timidly smiled at the rest of the group as Stark began the briefing. He informed those of you that had stayed behind for the holiday that S.H.I.E.L.D. had uncovered a hidden weapons manufacturing facility in Eastern Europe run by Hydra. It wasn't a large base, so Coulson felt confident that the six of you would be able to infiltrate the compound and neutralize the threat. 

You went back to your room after the briefing to change into your tactical gear and grab your favorite weapons. You decided on the M24 sniper rifle with the detachable telescopic sight, an assortment of knives that you carried in your thigh holsters, as well as one on your forearm and one at your ankle, and finally your trusted M9 Beretta. You were changed and boarding the Quinjet in less than ten minutes.

The flight over the Atlantic was spent pouring over the blueprints S.H.I.E.L.D. had managed to obtain. Rogers and Stark outlined various plans of attack with Romanoff and Wilson chiming in to offer additional insight. Every potential situation was discussed and a detailed strategy was developed to deal with each possibility. It was decided that Stark and Wilson would provide aerial coverage while Romanoff and Rogers would stay on the ground and disable the security. You and Barnes would find the high ground and provide long-range cover until the facility could be breached. You would then join Rogers and Romanoff inside the compound.

The mission went according to plan for about the first twenty minutes. Stark landed the Quinjet a few clicks south of the base, using an outcropping of trees for cover. The six of you hiked the distance on foot until you could survey the compound through the telescopic sights. Once it was determined that the intel you received was correct, Rogers and Romanoff started off toward the compound to gain access. You and Barnes separated and positioned yourselves to cover as much of the facility as possible. 

Romanoff made quick work of the security system and soon she and Rogers were ready to breach the entrance. Rogers signaled to you and Barnes that you should join them. You quickly packed your gear and ran the few yards to the now opened door, closely followed by Barnes. That was when your carefully constructed plan went out the window. What was originally believed to be the site of weapons manufacturing was, in fact, revealed to be a training facility crawling with Hydra operatives. 

The four of you were outnumbered, but definitely not outmatched. The two supersoldiers made quick work of the agents you first encountered, while you and Romanoff spread out to search for the communications center. You cautiously approached the corner of the hallway, sneaking a peek to discover two agents running toward you. Opting for the element of surprise, you rounded the corner and deftly put a bullet through each of their foreheads. 

At the end of the hallway, you came upon a door leading into the open warehouse that had been depicted on the blueprints. The communications center was believed to be in a room toward the top of the warehouse and was only accessible by a narrow catwalk 50 feet in the air. You could hear sounds of the fight behind you, and not waiting for backup, you decided to take out the rest of the security on your own. You made it across the catwalk without incident and you were able to hack the keypad leading into the comm center. 

There were three agents frantically watching the monitors and shouting commands to the other operatives currently being assailed by the rest of your team. Reaching for your Beretta, you were able to neutralize two of the men. The third managed to take cover and fire at you before you could take him out. The bullet tore through your right arm near the shoulder, rendering you unable to hold a weapon with that hand. Grabbing a knife from your thigh holster with your left hand, you swiped the blade across his neck. 

Kicking the door shut behind you, you glanced at the monitors to see Rogers and Romanoff holding their own against the novice agents. Stark and Wilson were still wreaking havoc from the air outside of the compound. Barnes appeared to be making his way toward you, taking down agents as he rushed through the hallway. Satisfied that your team had the upper hand, you disabled the rest of the security and engaged the self-destruct sequence. You never did understand why Hydra was stupid enough to keep installing it, you and the team continually used it against them. Evil didn't necessarily mean smart. Opening the door leading back to the catwalk, you were surprised to meet five operatives coming toward you. 

 

 

Looking back on the incident, you couldn't recall exactly what happened. It was like there was a gap in your memory. One second you were reaching for a gun, knowing that shooting left-handed put you at a disadvantage, and the next second, the men were gone, the whole warehouse was on fire and the catwalk was giving away under your feet. Thinking that the self-destruct sequence had malfunctioned and gone off early, you began running toward the opposite end, not knowing if you would make it in time. Black smoke hung thick in the air, making it impossible for you to see where the catwalk ended. 

Finally getting close enough to see the edge, the metal collapsed beneath your feet and you felt yourself beginning to fall. Before a scream could escape your lips, your fall was abruptly halted. Looking up, you saw that Barnes had grabbed hold of you. He was holding onto the railing of the catwalk with his metal arm. Although it hurt like hell, you were glad that he had grabbed your right arm because it allowed you to use your left arm to reach for his shoulder and afford him the leverage needed to pull you to safety. 

The momentum of him pulling you up caused you to stumble into his arms as he brought you to your feet. His arms went to your waist to steady you as your eyes locked onto his. Gazing into those stormy depths, you were awestruck by the emotion he failed to conceal. One thought crossed your mind: There's something there that wasn't there before. 

You and Barnes recovered after a moment and ran back into the main compound to find Rogers and Romanoff coming toward you. Barnes told them that the place was going up in flames and it was time to go. The four of you made your way back to the main entrance where Stark and Wilson were waiting with the Quinjet. Quickly running up the cargo ramp, Stark took off just as the building below you exploded.


	5. Chapter 5

"(Y/N)'s been shot!" Barnes yelled as the jet was taking off.

"It's nothing serious," you downplayed. "It's just a flesh wound."

"There's no exit wound," Barnes countered as he ran his hand over the back of your right shoulder. "The bullet is still in there and it has to come out now."

"Who's going fish it out of there?" Wilson asked.

"I'll do it," Barnes volunteered.

"Really, guys," you began to protest. "It's not that big of a deal, just give me some forceps and I'll get it myself."

"(Y/N)," Romanoff chided, "The bullet is in your right shoulder, I doubt you'll be able to get it out left-handed. Just let Bucky take care of it."

You started to move toward one of the benches to get this over with, when Barnes' next comment made you stop dead in your tracks.

"You'll have to take off your shirt," he said a bit sheepishly. 

"Right," you replied as you began to lift the hem of the shirt over your head. Romanoff realized that you were struggling with only one arm, so she came over to help you. 

You were a bit embarrassed to be the center of attention, standing there in your black sports bra. Everyone was staring at the hole in your right shoulder that was pouring more blood than you had realized. Blood didn't usually didn't bother you, but for some reason you were feeling a bit odd. You chalked it up to shock and the loss of blood. Wanting to get this over with quickly, you lay down on the bench to allow Barnes to get to work.

Everyone was so intent on watching him dig the bullet out of your shoulder that they weren't actually paying any attention to you. This gave you the opportunity to try to figure out what it was that you had seen in Barnes' eyes right after he saved you from falling off of the catwalk. You took the time to really study him. 

Had you ever really noticed how handsome he was? You had definitely noticed those gorgeous blue eyes a little while ago. His face was only a few inches from your own as he bent closer trying to extract the bullet. The angle of his face gave you a clear view of his impressive jaw. It was like something sculpted by Michelangelo, the lines were so sharp. You had never realized how that thin layer of scruff was so sexy on him. 

Your eyes made their way to his lips. They were absolutely perfect, not too thin, but not too full, either. Just then, his tongue darted out to lick those luscious lips as his concentration intensified on his task. You unintentionally let out an audible groan as you imagined those lips and that tongue on various parts of your anatomy.

Everyone froze and all eyes were suddenly centered on you again. Barnes immediately stopped what he was doing and looked at you in concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I just got shot. It's actually a bit painful!" you deflected. "Just get the bullet out and I'll be fine."

The guys seemed a bit chagrined, but Romanoff wasn't fooled for a minute. She gave you a knowing look that let you know that she knew you were lying. You decided that it would be best not to continue your earlier train of thought, and instead you closed your eyes and waited for Barnes to finish.

Barnes was able to remove the bullet and wrap your shoulder in a bandage to help staunch the continued loss of blood. Once you were safely back in New York, Dr. Cho was able to properly clean and stitch the wound. You would probably have a nasty scar, but that was just a hazard of the job.

 

 

Stark decided that since the six of you had given up some of your "off time" to complete a mission, he was going to make sure you all enjoyed the rest of the holiday. After you had been stitched up, he announced that you were all going to spend a few days on his private island in the Caribbean. You were all packed and on board the Quinjet, yet again, within the hour.

The villa Stark owned in the Caribbean was absolutely amazing! It had a beautiful open floor plan with a wall of windows facing the shoreline. There were dozens of plush couches and oversized chairs artfully arranged so that everyone could enjoy the view. It had eight bedrooms, so there was plenty of room for the six of you. You had chosen the room at the far end of the villa. Dropping your duffle on the bed, you quickly grabbed a bathing suit to change into before you headed to the pool for some much needed relaxation.

The rest of the team had the same idea, and it wasn't long before you were all lounging around the pool in your swimwear, too tired to do anything but bake in the warm Caribbean sun. You had almost fallen asleep when a splash of water hitting your legs jerked you awake. Sitting up, you saw that Rogers and Wilson were in the pool goofing off. They both looked at you sheepishly when you glared at them for splashing you.

"You're not going to spend the whole day sleeping, are you?" Rogers asked.

"I think you've forgotten my near-fatal wound!" you replied, shrugging your right shoulder. "I need to rest. Besides, I don't want to bust my stitches."

"I think your stitches will be fine, (Y/N)," Barnes said as he scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the side of the pool.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" you screamed as he threw you into the pool. 

You quickly surfaced, shooting a lethal glare at him while the rest of the team laughed hysterically. You had to admit the water felt amazing and you were soon laughing along with the rest of them. It seemed as though they weren't holding your previous hostility toward them against you. You weren't sure if it was the bullet you took during the mission, or if they had just been waiting for you to finally warm up to them. Either way, you felt a sense of peace knowing that you might actually have a place here among them.

 

 

Unfortunately, the vacation didn't last too long. Coulson called the next morning with another mission. You got up from the briefing, intending to go to your room to get your stuff, when Stark stopped you.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"To pack up," you replied, ready for what was coming next.

"Not with a hole in your shoulder. You're just going to stay here and take advantage of my generosity," he told you with a wink.

"Maybe I should sit this one out as well," Barnes announced to the team. "It sounds like a simple mission the four of you can handle, and I wouldn't want (Y/N) here by herself, just in case."

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myse. . ." you began.

"That's a great idea, Bucky," Nat said with a smile as she interrupted you. 

After the rest of the team had left, Barnes suggested that the two of you go and hang out by the pool and enjoy the peace and quiet.

"It really is beautiful here," you told him after you'd settled yourself in the lounge chair. "I kind of feel guilty taking advantage of God's Gift."

Realizing what you had said, you slapped a hand over your mouth as your eyes grew large.

"I'm sorry," Barnes chuckled. "Did you just call Stark, God's Gift?"

"No," you whispered, lying through your teeth.

"Oh, yes you did!" Bucky said, laughing so hard at this point that he was doubled over on the lounge chair. "That is the perfect description of him!"

"Don't tell him, please?" you begged, turning to sit on the side of the lounge chair to face him.

"Only if you tell me everyone else's nickname," he countered with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Why don't we go for a swim," you said, trying to distract Barnes from this topic.

"Oh, no, doll, you're going to spill it!" Barnes said, completely undeterred. 

"Okay, fine," you huffed. "Which ones do you want to know?"

"Wilson," he demanded.

"How You Doin'" you mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

"Stop trying to change the subject," he fired back.

"I'm not!" you exclaimed. "I called him 'How You Doin'."

Barnes looked a bit confused, but then realization dawned and he started laughing again. 

"That is the worst pick-up line ever! I keep trying to tell him that, but he won't listen. I can't believe he tried it with you, too!" he said, trying to speak between fits of laughter. "Ok, what about Natasha?"

"The Femme Fatale," you answered.

"Oooooh, don't ever let her find out about that!" he said, his face scrunching up thinking about the pain she would inflict on you if she ever found out. "Steve?"

"Mr. Star Spangled Banner," you said, growing tired of this game, while Barnes continued to laugh so hard his face was getting red. "Are you finished?"

"No, absolutely not! This is the most I've laughed in 70 years! Mr. Star Spangled Banner, that's perfect! I'm going to have to start calling him that when he gets all self-righteous," Barnes said.

"No! Besides, Barnes, the best nicknames are the one's people don't know they have" you informed him, struggling to keep a smile off of your face and failing miserably.

"You're right," he admitted. Turning toward you with a smile, he asked, "What's mine?"

You felt your stomach drop at the thought of actually admitting to him what you had secretly called him for six months. He had been so nice, he'd just saved your life, and he'd volunteered to stay here and take care of you. You couldn't let him know what you had originally thought of him.

"No," you whispered, looking down at the ground in shame.

"It can't be that bad, (Y/N)," Barnes said as he placed a finger under your chin, lifting your face so he could meet your eyes.

You knew he would never let it go, and wouldn't it be easier to just get it over with now? You had a few days here alone with him to convince him that you didn't see him that way anymore. He would eventually forgive you, right? 

"The Terminator," you said quietly, glancing away so you wouldn't have to see the look in his eyes.

"You really hated us, didn't you?" he asked softly, his fingers still cupping your jaw.

"Hate is a pretty strong word," you answered. "I was unhappy and it was my way of lashing out. I'm sorry, I really don't feel that way anymore, Barnes."

"I believe you, (Y/N)," he whispered, squeezing your jaw to make you focus on him again. "I can tell that things have changed since you moved into the compound. We're not an easy group of people to get along with, but I think, eventually, we'll all be friends."

"You don't think it's too late, after the way I've acted all these months?" you asked, searching his eyes for the answer you wanted, not about the team, but about him, and how he felt about you.

"Take it from someone who knows," he said with a sad smile. "If they can forgive me for what I did, then it's definitely not too late for you."

"Thank you," you said as you brought your hand up to lay over the one he had shifted to cup your cheek. A tear fell from your eyes as you smiled at him.

"Thank me by calling me Bucky," he said as he used his metal hand to wipe away the tear. 

"Okay, Bucky," you said with a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

The screams woke you up in the middle of the night. You had heard the rest of the team talk about how bad things were for Bucky when he first moved into the compound, but nothing could prepare you for the heart wrenching sounds that were coming from the room next door. You had experienced your fair share of pain and torture working with Coulson, but this was something else altogether.

You lay in your bed praying he would wake himself up. After a few minutes, you couldn't stand it anymore. Mustering all of your courage, you hurried to the room next door. Opening the door as quietly as possible, you peeked into the room. 

Bucky was thrashing around in the bed, the sheets a tangled mess around his legs. The moon shone bright on his sweat slicked body as it poured in through the overhead skylight. The look on his face was like something out of a horror movie. His features were distorted in pain and anguish. Your heart broke for the man who had only hours before, comforted you. Returning the favor was the least you could do.

Knowing that Bucky might not wake up himself, you cautiously approached the bed. You walked to the foot of the bed and reached out to lightly touch his right leg. Gently squeezing, you quietly said his name.

"Bucky, Bucky, wake up," you frantically whispered. Nothing. Fear coursed through you as you moved closer to the bed. Grasping his leg tighter and lightly shaking him, you called out his name a little louder.

Bucky awoke with a strangled cry, sitting straight up in bed, a wild look in his eyes. You let go of his leg and backed away as fast as you could, scared that the Winter Soldier was the one staring back at you. Bucky took a moment to orient himself. Recognizing you at the foot of his bed, eyes full of fear, his expression softened. 

You began to slowly back toward the door, but Bucky swung his legs over the side of the bed and reached out for you. Your eyes went from his outstretched hand to his eyes and then back to his hand. His eyes were no longer wild, but held a sadness that almost brought tears to your eyes. 

You reached out and grasped his hand as he pulled you closer to him. He brought you to the edge of bed, standing between his legs. He wrapped his arms around your back and buried his head between your breasts. You were a bit shocked, not expecting him to seek comfort from you. You weren't sure where to put your hands, you didn't want to awkwardly pat his back, it would just be patronizing. 

You looked down at him and noticed that his hair was a tangled mess. You began to run your fingers through the damp tresses, gently working out the knots. Even when the tangles were gone, you continued to comb your fingers through his hair, closing your eyes as you got lost, both in the mindless task and in the feeling of being in his arms.

You don't know how long the two of you stayed that way. Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a light vibration against your chest. It felt as though Bucky was purring like a kitten. At first you thought it was sweet, but the more it continued, the more uncomfortable you became. It wasn't a bad uncomfortable, just the opposite. You were ashamed of yourself for turning this tender moment into something carnal, even if was only in your thoughts. 

It was if Bucky knew where your thoughts had turned. One minute he's being all sweet and innocent and then out of nowhere, he turned his head and started placing hot, open-mouthed kisses just under your breasts. If that wasn't bad enough, then he would lightly blow on the wet fabric of your t-shirt, sending waves of pleasure straight through you. 

Unable to contain yourself anymore, you let out a hoarse moan. That was all the encouragement Bucky needed. His hands moved from around your waist to the backs of your thighs. Bucky gently pulled you into his lap, bringing you face to face with him. His eyes were wild with desire and you knew yours were a mirror image. 

His hands pulled your hips tighter against the hardening length of him as his mouth crashed down on yours. You lost track of time as your world focused on the battle of lips, tongues, and teeth, each of you trying to gain the upper hand from the other. It was the type of battle where both sides ended up the victor.

Breaking away for a much needed breath of air, Bucky moved his inquisitive mouth to other areas of your body. He discovered the sensitive spot behind your ear that had you crying out his name, your hands buried in the thick strands of his hair. He nipped at your collarbone as he ran his tongue along the dip at the base of your neck. 

Running out of exposed skin, his hands grabbed the hem of your t-shirt and brought it quickly over your head. The sudden movement of your arm had you hissing in pain as the stitches in your shoulder pulled. Bucky looked at you in concern, but you cupped his face in your hands as you laid a chaste kiss on his lips. 

The mood shifted slightly, but not entirely breaking. Bucky ran his fingers over your stitches and then gently placed a kiss on the healing wound. The sweetness of the move spurred you to lightly run your fingers down the side of his face, a smile on your own. 

Bucky shifted the two of you so that you were laying on the bed, your head on his pillow. He began to trace the outline of the scars that peppered your body. In your line of work, injuries were a given. You saw your scars as badges of honor, proof that you had survived, had prevailed over the enemy. Bucky kissed every single scar on your body, causing you to slowly burn from the inside out.

You had assumed that Bucky would use sex as an outlet for his pent up anger and frustrations, so you were shocked to find that he was the most patient and gentle lover you had ever had. While his lips were worshiping your every imperfection, his hands began to busy themselves elsewhere. His fingers were as light as feathers as they grazed over your sensitive skin. He had you coming undone beneath him, crying out his name again and again. 

 

 

Later, after the two of you were spent, Bucky had pulled you close to him. Your head was pillowed on his chest and his right arm was lightly wrapped around you. The tenderness of this position began to make you feel a bit uneasy. You had been so horrible to him and in return, he had given you one of the best nights of your life. 

The guilt weighing on you had you quietly sneaking out of his room while he sleep. You returned to your room, heading straight for the shower. You turned the water on as cold as you could stand it. Bracing yourself against the wall, you let the icy water cool your overheated skin and clear your head so you could think. 

This is not where you had imagined you would end up when you began working with the Avengers. Especially not with him! You tried to figure out when things had begun to turn to bring you to this moment. Your mind was working overtime, trying to figure out what this all would mean in the morning. Was this the start of a relationship? Was it a one-time thing? Did he think the two of you would be friends with benefits? Wait, were you even friends? Shaking your head as you giggled, you thought, there's definitely one benefit to this job.


	7. Chapter 7

Rolling over to check the time, you silently cursed your internal clock. No matter what time you fell asleep the night before, you always woke up at the exact same time every morning. It usually didn't bother you, but you were on vacation, and your extracurricular activities from the night before had left you a bit exhausted.

Letting out a deep sigh, you decided it would be best to just get up and face the day, with whatever consequences the morning after would bring. You wiggled into your swimsuit and threw on a cover up before heading to the kitchen. You were absolutely starving! 

Rooting around in the cupboards, you gather the ingredients you needed to make your favorite breakfast, thankful that Stark kept the kitchen fully stocked. You had just put the skillet on the stove to warm, when you felt a presence behind you.

Turning to look over your shoulder, you saw Bucky standing in the entryway, a sheepish look in his eyes as he ran his hand through his hair. You could tell there was something he wanted to say, but the last thing you wanted to hear was lame apologies and half-hearted excuses. 

Deciding to set the tone for the day, you spoke first. "I'm making pancakes, would you like some?"

"Um," Bucky muttered, obviously confused. "Yeah, sure, I love pancakes."

"Why don't you set the table while I get these ready?" you asked, turning back to the stove. 

Bucky didn't respond. He went to the cabinet next to you and got a couple of plates. You could feel the heat radiating off of his body as he reached for the dishes. Your own body responded to his proximity of its own volition, heat spreading downward, making you ache to feel his touch again. 

Taking a deep breath, you tried to concentrate on not burning the pancakes, but Bucky was taking his sweet time getting the silverware and glasses. It was like he knew how your body was reacting to his presence.

"Milk or juice?" he asked, finally walking to the other side of the room.

"Milk for me, please," you answered, grateful that you could form a coherent sentence.

You finished stacking the pancakes on the plate beside you and brought them to the table. You let Bucky grab the top ones before you put a few on your plate. The two of you ate in a surprisingly comfortable silence.

"These are amazing, (Y/N)," Bucky said after eating his third pancake.

"Thanks," you responded. "It's my dad's recipe. He always made them for us on Sunday mornings."

Bucky looked at you, and for a second, you could have sworn you saw sadness in his eyes, but it was gone so quickly you weren't sure. Bucky started to say something, but the phone beside him vibrated softly. Looking down at the screen, he picked up the phone and swiped the screen. He read the message and then began typing a reply.

"That was Steve," he informed you as he placed the phone back on the table.

"Are they on their way back?" you inquired.

"No," Bucky replied. "They've gotten held up, they'll be gone for a few more days."

"Oh," you mumbled.

"What did you want to do today?" Bucky asked, trying to keep the mood light.

"Well, Stark does have a boat at the end of the dock," you answered mischievously. "Have you ever been out on one before?"

"No, have you?" Bucky questioned.

"It can't be that hard, right?" you said with a laugh. "I'll clean up the kitchen. Why don't you go change into some swim trunks, grab some sunscreen and a few towels, and we'll take it for a spin?"

Bucky shook his head at you, a smile on his face as he took the empty plates to the sink for you. Still grinning, he walked back down the hallway to gather the supplies you had requested.

 

 

The little boat was surprisingly easy to maneuver, and soon you and Bucky were flying along the water. You decided not to go too far out, so you made sure that the island was always in view. You gradually decreased the speed, finally bring the boat to a halt a few hundred yards away from the island.

"How's this spot?" you asked Bucky, turning to look at him for the first time since you'd gotten into the boat. He had a smile on his face, and looked more relaxed than you had ever seen him before.

"It's perfect," he said getting up to drop the anchor.

You grabbed a couple of towels and spread them out on the bow, making sure to leave plenty of space between them. You pulled off your cover up and lay down on one, lacing your fingers behind your head, enjoying the cool breeze and the warm sun beating down on your body. 

A shadow passed over you as Bucky moved to join you on the other towel. Peeking through your sunglasses, you watched him drag the t-shirt over his head, his muscles stretching and flexing from the movement. Laying down beside you, you watched him mimic your pose, his hands behind his head. The position had his abs stretching tight, and you were desperately trying not to let the sight bother you anymore than it already was. Bucky seemed completely unaffected by the sight of you in your swimsuit, so you took your lead from him and concentrated on enjoying the lazy morning.

"(Y/N)?" Bucky whispered, waking you up from your nap. "You're starting to burn, doll. I think it's time we headed back."

You slowly started to come around, stretching your arms and legs before sitting up and looking at Bucky. He looked a bit uncomfortable and was turned away from you at an odd angle. Realization hit, and you grinned knowing that he wasn't as oblivious to your half-naked form as you had previously thought. 

You decided to take pity on him and suggested that he steer the boat back to the island, giving him an opportunity to hide his reaction to you behind the wheel. This also allowed you to spend the next few minutes admiring the view from behind. You had never really noticed how thick his thighs were. You hadn't really been paying much attention to that particular part of his anatomy last night. Letting your imagination run away, you lost track of time until you felt the boat gently bumping against the side of the dock.

The rest of the day was spent lounging in the shade by the pool, occasionally diving in to swim for a bit. You were amazed at how easy it was to be around him. If you hadn't noticed his discomfort on the boat, you might have thought he didn't remember what had transpired between the two of you the night before. You were glad things weren't awkward, it was just a one-time thing, never to be brought up again.

 

 

The screams woke you up again in the middle of the night. Without even thinking of the consequences, you rushed from your room to his. Déjà vu hit you as you took in the site before you. Bucky was again sprawled on his back, writhing in agony, the nightmare torturing both his mind and his body. You walked to the end of the bed, still cautious, but braver than you were the night before.

Gently shaking him and calling his name, Bucky quickly woke up, sitting up in the bed, staring at you wide eyed. You backed away, ready to run if you needed to. Bucky sighed in relief when he realized that it was you. Turning to sit on the side of the bed, he reached out for just as he had the night before. Without hesitation, you took his hand and moved to cradle his head against your breast.

You began to work the tangles out of his hair as his fingers drew lazy circles on your back. You tried to keep things innocent and comforting, but his hands kept moving lower and lower on your back awakening a hunger deep inside of you.

Taking the initiative, you moved your hands to the side of his face, tilting it up toward you as you lowered yourself to straddle those amazing thighs. Never giving him a chance to react, you crushed your lips to his, your hands fisting themselves in his hair. His hands moved up your back to grab your shoulders, pulling you as close to him as he could.

You didn't know how it was possible to forget how talented that mouth was, but you were soon lost as he kissed you back, making your head swim with desire. Last night was sweet and patient, but you needed more this time around. 

Breaking away from the kiss, you quickly rid yourself of your t-shirt and pushed him back onto the bed. Grabbing his hands, you brought them over his head as your mouth found his again. Letting go of his hands, yours quickly moved to begin exploring his exposed chest. He brought one hand down to your waist, but you quickly swatted it away. Meeting his eyes, you raised one eyebrow and he begrudgingly moved the offending hand back above his head.

The thrill of being in control loosened your inhibitions as you teased and tormented the man beneath you. You brought him to the edge countless times, never letting him tumble over. It wasn't until you were ready that you finally allowed him the release he so desperately craved. 

You collapsed on his chest, the both of you struggling to catch your breath. He gingerly brought one hand down to trace the outline of your face, causing you to sigh in contentment. Bucky wrapped both arms around you, a peaceful expression on his face as he fell asleep once again. You were tempted to stay, content in his arms, but the guilt drove you away again. Slipping from under his arms, you quietly retreated to your own room.


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days on the island followed the same pattern. You spent your nights in Bucky's bed, never speaking a word, reveling in the various pleasures that the two of you discovered. You always skulked away to your own bed before morning, the guilt eating you alive, but never stopping you from returning night after night. The days were spent laughing and talking, learning more about one another as you lazed away the afternoons. 

The spell was finally broken when the team returned from their mission, dirty and disheveled. You and Bucky heard the jet landing behind the house and rushed to meet them. None of them were too injured, just a little banged up and ready for a shower. They headed off to their rooms to get cleaned up while you and Bucky returned to the pool. 

Sam and Steve were the first to make their way to the pool, collapsing onto lounge chairs beside Bucky with deep sighs of contentment. Natasha wasn't too far behind, decked out in a skimpy bikini that left nothing to the imagination. She chose the chair next to you as she carefully arranged her towel before getting comfortable. Stark was the last one out of the house, looking completely refreshed and disappointed that the five of you were practically passed out.

"This is sad," he commented. "I'm twice your age and I'm barely even tired!"

Sam and Nat gave him an evil look, not bothering to answer. Steve, never looking at him, simply said, "Technically, I'm old enough to be your grandfather, Stark, so I don't want to hear it!"

"And what about you two?" Stark addressed you and Bucky. "Don't think for a second I don't know what you've been up to while we've been off saving the world. I saw you two on the satellite feed."

You and Bucky turned to look at one another, fear and panic evident on both of your faces. Was Stark really going to out the two of you to the rest of the team? The three of them looked completely confused, so, obviously, he hadn't filled them in.

"Did you really think it would be okay to take my boat out without permission?" he asked, completely missing the fearful looks on your faces, as he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look appalled.

"Really, Stark?" you replied, coming back to your senses before Bucky. "If you didn't want us taking it for a spin, you should have hidden the keys! Anyway, it's still in one piece, so stop whining."

Sharing a secret grin of relief with Bucky, you turned around to find the nosy redhead looking at you with a smirk on her face. Stark may have been oblivious to your and Bucky's initial reaction to his accusation, but the spy never missed a thing. She raised one eyebrow and gave you a congratulatory nod before adjusting her sunglasses, slipping back into a state of disinterest. 

You decided to cook dinner for everyone since you hadn't been able to join the mission due to your injury. You left the pool a little early to grab a quick shower. Pulling open the curtain once you were finished, you weren't too surprised to find Natasha sitting on the sink waiting for you.

"Do you mind?" you asked, one hand on your hip, not bothering to hide your nakedness from the other woman.

"I was curious," she replied, jumping down from the sink and grabbing your left hip. She turned your body slightly to the side to get a better look. "I saw a bruise on your hip when you bent over to grab your towel. I was right. Those bruises look just like fingers. Now tell me, (Y/N), how exactly did you manage to get the imprint of Bucky's left hand on your left hip? I'm trying to picture it in my head, but I can only come up with one possible explanation."

"Why don't you stop being a perv, and mind your own business?" you snapped, grabbing the towel from the edge of the sink and wrapping it around you. "What I do in my off time doesn't concern you."

"It does when you're screwing one of our teammates," she snapped back at you. 

"It's not like that," you lamely tried to explain. "It's just sex, we're on vacation, and we got bored."

"Don't lie to me," she replied. "I've seen the way the two of you look at each other. The rest of the team may not have noticed, but you two have been heading down this road for months."

She paused for a moment, considering her next words carefully. Looking at you, seeing the confusion and shock on your face, she decided to continue her line of questioning.

"I just have to know," she began. "I've fought the Winter Soldier a few times. Is Bucky that fierce between the sheets?"

"GET OUT!" you yelled. "I can't believe your nerve!"

"Okay," she laughed, turning to leave. "You do realize, don't you? You just answered my question."

 

 

Dinner was a bit tense between you and Natasha. The men could tell that something had happened between you, but none of them were brave enough to broach the subject. You feigned a headache after the dishes were cleared away, and retreated to your room. You tossed and turned in the bed, desperately trying to figure out what you were going to do now. Your mind was telling you that the brief vacation fling with Bucky was just that, a fling. Your body on the other hand, was aching for more of him. 

You had finally fallen asleep when the screams from the next room woke you. Your first instinct was to go to Bucky, but then you remembered that everyone else was there, so you sat on the side of the bed, listening for Steve to enter Bucky's room.

Sure enough, you heard the door open and Steve's voice calling out to Bucky. The screams soon ended and you could hear the two men quietly talking to one another. Knowing that your help was no longer needed, you headed to the bathroom for a cold shower.

Standing under the icy spray, you went over the past few days in your mind. Natasha's comment about the way Bucky looked at you when no one was paying attention kept running through your mind. Could he actually have feelings for you? He definitely didn't treat you like a one night stand. The two of you were able to be around one another without feeling awkward. You could talk and laugh like old friends. Sure, you never mentioned the hot, steamy sex you both enjoyed every night, but he was raised to be a gentleman, maybe that's the way he was with all of his lovers.

A sudden burst of anger surged through you at the thought of any other woman laying their hands on him. Where had that come from? You had had previous lovers, why would you be jealous of woman you had never even met? Realization washed over you as you finally admitted to yourself what you had been denying for months. You were in love with him. 

At that moment you finally allowed yourself to acknowledge that your initial fear of him wasn't due to his violent past. You had instinctively known, from the moment you met him, that he was dangerous. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. You had fallen for him the minute you laid eyes on him. You had tried to deny it, but after this week, there was no turning back. You were long past the point of no return, but you didn't regret a single moment. Your only regret was that it was over.

You turned off the shower and used the towel to dry yourself off. Throwing the towel on the sink, you walked back into your room, completely naked since you had forgotten to grab a new t-shirt. Opening the door, you found Bucky sitting on the edge of your bed, his eyes wide seeing you silhouetted in the light from the bathroom.

"What are you doing here?" you hissed, grabbing the first shirt you saw and pulling it over your head.

"I waited for you to come to my room," he said, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. "I heard the shower, so I knew you were awake. Maybe I shouldn't have come."

He started to rise from the bed to leave. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, knowing that this decision would change everything.

"Stay," you whispered.

Bucky turned back toward you, a hopeful look in his eyes. He walked toward you, gathering you in his arms to pull you close to him.

"You are freezing!" he exclaimed, rubbing his hands up and down your arms. "Why are you so cold?"

Looking up at him with a guilty expression, he closed his eyes and moaned. "Doll, you didn't need to take a cold shower. All you had to do was come over."

"Well, Steve was there," you began. "I figured that since he was back, you wouldn't need me anymore."

"I love Steve, don't get me wrong," he teased, nipping your bottom lip. "But he's not exactly my type."

The two of you struggled to stay quiet, giggling every time one of you got too loud. It might not have been the most passionate, or the most tender, but it was definitely the most fun the two of you had had so far.

 

 

Waking up the next morning, you realized two things. One, your internal clock had failed you based on the amount of sunlight pouring into the room. Two, your pillow was a lot harder than you remembered, and it was moving. Craning your neck to look up, you were met with a set of blue-grey eyes.

"Good morning, doll," Bucky greeted you, tilting his head to lightly kiss your lips.

"How long have you been awake?" you asked, suddenly unsure of yourself.

"Not too long," he replied. "I was just watching you sleep. You're beautiful, did you know that?"

"You're not too hard on the eyes, yourself," you answered, shifting your body to lay on top of him, your hand grazing the course stubble on his cheek.

The mood was broken when you heard a commotion in the hallway. Steve's frantic voice could be heard as he neared your room.

"(Y/N)?" he called as he pounded on your door. "Are you awake? We can't find Bucky, have you seen him?"

"Crap!" you whispered angrily. "What are we going to do now?"

"This is all your fault, you know?" Bucky whispered back at you, a sly grin on his face.

"How is this my fault?" you asked as your voice rose a bit.

"(Y/N)?" Steve asked from the other side of the door. "Are you talking to me? I can't hear you."

Bucky started chuckling as he watched your eyes grow large. "Well, doll, if you had come to my room last night, you could have done your disappearing act and we wouldn't be on the verge of getting caught by my best friend."

"You. . . How dare. . . I can't believe!" you stuttered, not able to form a complete sentence as the man beneath you started laughing, loudly.

"(Y/N)?" Steve asked again. "Are you okay? I'm getting worried, I'm coming in!"

"NO!" you screamed, but you were too late. Not only did Steve walk in, but he was closely followed by Sam and Natasha. You quickly rolled off of Bucky, pulling the sheet up to your neck as you tried to hide behind him the best that you could.

"My eyes!" Sam screamed in jest, covering his face with his hands.

"I told you that you hadn't looked everywhere, Rogers," Natasha quipped, barely suppressing a smile.

"What is going on here?" Steve asked, confusion clearly evident on his face.

"Well, Stevie," Bucky began. "When a man and a woman like one another, they. . ."

"I realize what's going on, Buck!" Steve interrupted. "What I want to know is how long this has been going on?"

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Romanoff," you fired back. "What I do in my off time is none of your concern.

"You knew this was going on and you didn't tell me?" Steve turned to yell at Nat.

"What did Nat not tell you? And why are we all in (Y/N)'s room?" Stark inquired as he joined the other people in your room.

Seeing you in bed with Bucky had an immediate reaction from Stark. His jaw set in a hard line and his eyes grew dark with anger. His hands clenched into fists at his side.

"You're going to want to get of this room right now, Barnes," Stark warned Bucky.

"I'll leave when the lady asks me to go," Bucky fired back at Stark. 

Stark's face was blood red in anger as he informed Bucky, "This is my house, and if I say you have to go, you had better get out, now!"

"Fine!" Bucky replied as he threw the sheet off him. He strode from the room completely naked, pausing at the door to take a quick look back at you, your mouth gaping in shock.

"I can't believe that you would be so stupid!" Stark turned on you.

"I beg your pardon!" you spat back at him. "Last time I checked, you weren't my father, and even if you were, I wouldn't let you tell me what to do!"

Pulling the sheet from the mattress, you wrapped it around your body as you exited the room, your head held high despite humiliation you were feeling. You walked to the room next door and slammed the door shut behind you.

You looked around the room, but Bucky was nowhere to be seen. Then you heard water running and you knew where he was. Dropping the sheet, you opened the bathroom door and joined Bucky in the shower.

Bucky turned around in surprise when you pulled the curtain open. You said nothing, just grabbed his face and kissed him. His arms quickly wrapped around you as he returned the kiss.

"Please tell me you didn't walk out naked, as well?" Bucky asked, breaking the kiss to look down at you.

"No," you laughed. "I grabbed the sheet. It was a very dignified exit. Not as dramatic as yours, but I think I made my point."

"Why are you here?" Bucky asked, quickly adding, "Not that I'm complaining."

"Why did you come to me last night, and why did you stay?" you answered his question with a question.

"Doll." He simply replied. "Don't you know? You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're also the best lover I've ever had, did you really think I was going to give you up?"

"Whatever, Barnes," you said rolling your eyes. "I know what a skirt chaser you used to be. Your pretty lies won't work on me."

"It's not a lie," he replied. "You do realize women in the 40s weren't as sexually liberated as they are today. Most of my experiences were in the back seat of a car. The things you showed me this week? Let's just say, I've been well-educated, and I have a feeling there's a lot more to learn."

"Well, then," you responded. "If its new experiences you're looking for, we're in the perfect spot to continue your education."

You took his hands and placed them on the backs of your thighs, and grabbing hold of his shoulders into his arms. It didn't take Bucky long to figure out what do next.


	9. Chapter 9

Bucky turned off the water and opened the shower curtain. He handed you the towel that was laying on the corner of the sink. He then walked over to the linen closet to get one for himself.

"I'm sorry, you know," you whispered.

Bucky whipped his head around at your words. "What on Earth do you have to be sorry for?"

"The nightmares," you replied as you stared at the bathroom floor. "You haven't had a nightmare in months and then I had to go and tell you about that stupid nickname. It's all my fault, and I'm sorry."

Bucky walked over to you and pulled you into his arms, kissing the top of your head. "Doll, don't blame yourself. The nightmares come and go, there's no rhyme or reason to it."

You buried your face in the crook of his shoulder as your arms wrapped around his waist. "I just hate the thought of causing you pain, Bucky."

"Wait," he said, pulling away from you to look into your eyes. "Is that why you never stayed with me after. . . after the nightmares?"

"Yes," you answered. "You've been so wonderful to me, and I just felt so guilty."

Bucky raised his hands to your face, waiting until your eyes met his again. "You have nothing to feel sorry for, but if you want to make it up to me, promise me one thing."

"Anything," you replied.

"Don't ever sneak off again," he requested, giving you a stern look.

Laughing at his attempts to look menacing, you brought his lips to yours. "I promise."

Still wrapped in one another's arms you walked out of the bathroom to find Stark sitting on the edge of the bed, a look of disgust on his face.

"Vacation's over," he spat out. "Wheels up in one hour."

With that, he rose from the bed and stormed out of the room. You and Bucky shared a look, both of you grinning like idiots. Grabbing the sheet, you made your way back to your room to pack.

 

 

Once you were back at the compound, you went straight to your room to unpack. You hadn't been there too long before Natasha knocked on the door. She didn't wait for an answer, but let herself in.

"Well, that was interesting," she stated as she made herself comfortable on your bed.

"Which part?" you asked, grinning at her over your shoulder as you finished unpacking your suitcase.

"All of it," she replied. "So, what does this mean for you and Barnes? Are you two a thing now?"

You paused, thinking about the question for a moment before you turned to face her again. "I really don't know. We didn't get a chance to actually talk about it. I just can't figure out why Stark is so ticked off. I know why he hates Bucky so much, but honestly I've never been able to figure out what it is about me that sets him off. I know I haven't always been the most pleasant person to work with, but I feel like there's something else going on that I don't know about."

Natasha's face never flinched, but there was something in her eyes that let you know that you had stumbled upon something. A sense of unease washed over you. There was something going on, and no one wanted you to know what it was.

"I don't know what you mean," Natasha lied easily. "Stark and Barnes have a complicated history. You're probably just reading too much into it."

You turned to look out of the window so that your face wouldn't give you away as well. You noticed a tall, dark haired woman dressed all in black, pacing the lawn on a cell phone. You would know her anywhere, Agent Melinda May. If she were here, you knew Director Coulson was as well, he never went anywhere without her. 

You realized that Natasha's visit wasn't random. She had been sent here to keep you busy so you wouldn't know that Coulson was at the compound. You needed to figure out a way of subduing the other woman so you could find out what was going on. Setting your face in a neutral expression, you turned around and walked over to the bed to join Natasha.

"You're probably right," you replied placing your hand on her shoulder. You waited to see if she would tense up at your touch. She didn't. She turned to smile at you, placing her hand over yours. 

You didn't allow yourself to think about the consequences of your actions. You just quickly wrapped your other arm around her neck, pulling her into a choke hold. You wrapped your legs around her waist, pinning her arms to her sides as you fought to maintain control of the situation. Natasha bucked against your hold, trying to break free, but you had caught her off guard.

"I'm sorry about this," you told her as she started to lose consciousness. "I need to know what's going on, and you're not going to help me."

You waited until you were sure she was completely out before you loosened your grip. You laid her gently on the bed, even placing a pillow under her head before you made your way out of the room. You tiptoed quietly down the hall toward the conference room. You could hear the sounds of raised voices before you even got close. When you heard Bucky's voice, you stopped dead in your tracks.

"Really, Coulson?" he yelled at your boss. "You were the one who gave me this assignment! You know her better than anyone. Did you really think I wouldn't fall in love with her?"

 

 

6 Months Ago

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't think there was any other option," Coulson addressed the room full of Avengers. "I handpicked Agent (Y/L/N) for S.H.I.E.L.D. when she was still in college. I feel responsible for her."

"Who is Agent (Y/L/N)?" Stark asked as he swiveled in his chair, looking bored.

"You remember her, Tony," Bruce interjected. "She was the Agent that gave the eulogy at Coulson's funeral."

Tony stopped and looked at Coulson in disbelief. "Oh, I remember her, alright! If I recall correctly, she not so subtly blamed us for your death. All but called us murderers. Why would she want to come here?"

"She doesn't want to come here," Coulson admitted. "She's fighting me tooth and nail. She's never quite forgiven all of you for letting Loki spear me like a shish kabab. I just feel like Sergeant Barnes is the best person to help her through this situation."

"With all due respect, sir," Bucky began. "I'm barely dealing with my own demons, I'm not sure how much help I'll be to this woman."

"What exactly happened, Coulson?" Steve asked. "Maybe if we knew the whole story, we could come up with a plan to help her. I know how much she means to you."

Coulson took a deep breath before he began explaining the events of the past month. He began by explaining how the alien race known as the Kree came to Earth centuries ago to create a new breed of living weapons. They combined their blood with the blood of humans and then exposed them to a mist made from Terrigen crystals from their home planet. Exposure to Terrigen Mist causes a human to undergo Terrigenesis. 

This process created the first Inhuman, known today as Hive. He had the ability to infect other Inhumans with his parasitic nature, effectively controlling their minds. Hive had been banished to the planet of Maveth thousands of years ago after he helped defeat the Kree, because he was deemed too dangerous to remain on Earth. Hydra was founded as a means to find a way to bring him back to Earth.

Some of Coulson's team had been exposed to the Terrigen Mist when they stumbled upon an obelisk containing crystals that had been lost for centuries. A few of the team underwent Terrigenesis and became Inhumans. Agent (Y/L/N) and Agent Daisy Johnson were the two members. 

Agent (Y/L/N) hid her new abilities because of her hatred of the Avengers. She didn't think that it was natural for humans to possess such powers. Everyone was so focused on Daisy's new abilities that no one paid any attention to the turmoil Agent (Y/L/N) was undergoing.

Coulson then went on to explain how they had inadvertently brought Hive back to Earth trying to save a member of their team who was trapped on Maveth. He then explained how the infiltration of the Hydra base where Hive was located went so horribly wrong. Daisy had been infected by Hive and Agent (Y/L/N) had suffered a mental breakdown during the attack, causing her powers to fully manifest. She has the ability to control fire and had unknowingly burned the entire base to the ground.

She was currently in the hospital, suffering from what the doctors called a Dissociative fugue. It wasn't exactly like amnesia, she knew who she was and where she was. She remembered everything from her past. She had just blocked out the memories of becoming an Inhuman and the events at the Hydra base a month before.

"So, let me get this straight," Stark interrupted. "You have a new breed of superhumans who can be controlled by this Hive guy, and you want to send one of them to us?"

"Hive has been taken care of," Coulson explained. "One of my team sacrificed themselves to do so."

"Ok, he's a nonissue, but she's still all Drew Barrymore, Firestarter?" Stark questioned. "And she doesn't know it? I already have one amnesiac mass murderer under my roof. You want me to add another?"

"I understand your concern, I really do," Coulson conceded. "I don't believe she's a danger to anyone right now. I would keep her with me, but she won't tolerate the idea of being around the other Inhumans. I've convinced her to come here to help keep an eye on you after your little disagreement."

"That's what we're calling it now?" Natasha quipped, barely keeping the smile off of her face.

"Sergeant Barnes," Coulson implored, ignoring the others in the room. "You know firsthand what it's like to have your memories taken from you. What it's like to do something that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Agent (Y/L/N) is a good agent and a good woman. She's going to need someone to help her understand that she had no choice. She's going to need someone to help her come to terms with what she had to do. Will you help her?"

Bucky looked at the others in the room. Coulson's words had caused all of them to shift uncomfortably in their seats. He did know what it was like to try to live with events that were beyond his control. If he could help someone else's suffering, wouldn't that be step toward redemption for him?

"I'll do it," he replied.

"This is going to blow up in your face, Coulson," Stark put forth. "You just wait and see!"

 

 

Present Day

"I warned you months ago that this was going to end badly," Stark reminded Coulson. "Lover boy over here couldn't keep it in his pants, and now we're all going to go down in flames when she realizes that we've been lying to her all of these months."

You chose that moment to come around the corner. "Lying to me about what, exactly?"


	10. Chapter 10

The men in the room all turned toward you, shock evident on their faces. Bucky was the first to move. He slowly rose from his chair and started making his way toward you, his hand outstretched.

"(Y/N)," Bucky implored. "Please let me explain."

Bucky was taken aback at the look on your face. Rather, the lack of expression was what really disturbed him. For the first time, he truly understood why people were so scared of the Winter Soldier. Your eyes were completely devoid of emotion, cold, and menacing.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" Tony asked anxiously. "What is Agent Romanoff's status?"

"Sir," the AI responded. "Agent Romanoff is currently unconscious in Agent (Y/L/N)'s quarters."

"Really, Stark," you asked incredulously. "Did you honestly think I would kill her?"

"I'm not really sure what you're capable of, (Y/N)," Stark answered honestly.

Bucky took another step toward you, gently placing his hand on your arm. "Please, let me explain."

"Get your hands off of me!" you growled.

Steve stood and grabbed Bucky's arm. "Maybe you should give her some time, Buck."

"No, Rogers," you snapped. "I don't need time, I need answers!"

"(Y/N)," Coulson spoke for the first time since you walked into the room. "You have to understand that we only want the best for you."

"Lying to me?" you questioned. "That's what you think is best! What exactly are you hiding from me?"

"Coulson," Bucky said. "I think you need to let me handle this. That's why you gave me the assignment in the first place."

Bucky didn't wait for an answer, but began walking toward the door. He stopped in the doorway and turned to look at you. Without waiting to see if you would follow, he disappeared into the hallway.

You looked at the three men left in the room. Realizing that none of them were going to provide you with the answers you needed, you turned and followed after Bucky.

You met up with him at the elevators. Neither of you spoke as the doors opened and Bucky pressed the button for the ground floor. It wasn't until the two of you were walking away from the compound that Bucky finally broke the silence.

"First of all," he began. "I want to apologize for lying to you about. . . well, about everything."

"Did you mean it?" you whispered.

Bucky was confused for a moment, but looking into your eyes, he suddenly knew what you were talking about. Your eyes had lost that cold, haunting look, and were now both scared and hopeful.

"I love you," he stated. "I wasn't supposed to fall for you, but. . ."

You said nothing for a moment, processing what he had said. "I don't understand. If you love me, why would you lie to me?"

"Because the truth is going to hurt more than the lie ever could," he admitted.

"What could be so horrible that lying to me is the better option?" you asked, a look of disbelief on your face.

Bucky ran his hand over his face, unsure of where to begin. He knew he had to go about this in the right way, or he would lose you forever. "What do you remember about the last mission with Agent Johnson?"

"What does Daisy have to do with this?" you asked, completely confused, but Bucky didn't respond. "Okay, fine. I took a really bad hit to the head, so I don't remember much. What I do remember was infiltrating the base with Daisy. We were looking for Hive, but got waylaid by a group of Hydra operatives. I stayed behind to deal with the threat while Daisy continued on alone."

"That's all?" he inquired.

"Look," you stated. "I got my butt handed to me and ended up in the hospital for a month. It's not exactly a shining moment in my S.H.I.E.L.D. career."

Bucky paused for a moment, obviously choosing his next words carefully. "What about your family? When was the last time you spoke with your father?"

"Ok, Barnes," you warned. "You're really starting to tick me off, now. What is with all of these questions? Why won't you just tell me what is going on?"

"Answer the question, (Y/N)," Bucky asked.

"I just talked to him the other day," you barked out at him. "Happy now?"

Bucky looked at you with sadness in his eyes. "Did you? What did he say?"

"He said. . . " you started, a look of confusion distorting your features. "I called him on Thanksgiving Day. I got his voicemail. He must have called me back. He wouldn't just ignore me."

You looked at Bucky, trying not panic. You were finally realizing that something wasn't right. You couldn't put your finger on it, but there was something going on, something important that you just couldn't remember.

"Something happened at the Hydra base, didn't it?" you asked, your breathing starting to become erratic. "There's something I'm supposed to remember, but I can't. I can't remember what happened."

You began to hyperventilate at this point. Your legs grew weak and you started to collapse. Bucky was by your side before you hit the ground. He wrapped his arms around you as he sank to his knees with you. You wrapped your arms around him, clutching his shirt in yours hands, as you buried your face in his shoulder. 

"It's okay, doll," Bucky murmured, running his hands up and down your back as he tried to comfort you. "I'm here. I've got you. Let yourself remember."

Bucky's words broke through the wall that you had erected so many months before. It was as if a dam had broken inside of you and all of the memories you had repressed came flooding back all at once. 

"What have I done, Bucky?" you cried, unable to quell the tears streaming down your face.

 

 

6 Months Ago 

You and Daisy were stealthily moving through the halls of the Hydra base. You knew what your mission was and you were both completely focused, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

"(Y/N), Daisy, incoming Hydra agents," Coulson spoke through your comm system.

"Copy that, sir," you responding. "How many?"

"Right now, just one, but there are more behind him" Coulson answered.

You and Daisy slowed your approach as the operative turned the corner. He was still in the shadows, so you couldn't see his face. He hadn't spotted the two of you yet, so you motioned for Daisy to hold her position. The man came into the light and you inhaled sharply.

"Dad?" you asked, coming out of your hiding spot. "What are you doing here?"

"(Y/N), darling," he said, a smile on his face. "I'm so glad I found you. We've got to get you away from these people."

"I know, Dad," you responded. "My team is here to take out Hive, but I'm still confused as to why you're here."

"You don't understand, baby," your dad began. "Hive isn't the enemy, he's the answer."

Daisy came out of the shadows at this point. "(Y/N), he's under Hive's control. He's an Inhuman."

"No! He can't be!" you shouted at Daisy. "You need to move on. Hive will get away. I'll deal with this and meet you back at the rally point."

Daisy looked unconvinced, but the mission had to come first. She hesitated for a moment before moving down the opposite hallway.

"She's right, (Y/N)," he confirmed. "We're all Inhumans."

Your dad gestured to the hall behind him as your brothers revealed themselves. Your mouth dropped open in shock.

"How?" you asked, already knowing the answer. "It was the fish oil capsules, wasn't it?"

Daisy had recently brought down a jet filled with synthetic Terrigen crystals. When the plane hit the water, the crystals released the Mist, contaminating the local vegetation. Hydra had used the tainted plants to create fish oil capsules that would trigger Terrigenesis. Your team had been trying to find all of the new Inhumans before Hydra. Hive was creating his own army of mindless Inhuman soldiers, and it looked as though he had gotten to your family.

Your oldest brother, Bill, shook his head affirmatively. "(Y/N), you need to come with us. Everything will be revealed soon. Hive will make everything clear."

"I'm sorry, Bill," you said, tears starting to run down your cheeks. You knew what you had to do, but it was going to kill you to do it. 

There were six of them and only one of you, so you went with the element of surprise, trying to gain the upper hand. You wanted to subdue them until you could get them back to HQ. You only hoped that Coulson could find a way to remove Hive's control.

You struck out at Bill first, breaking his nose. Charlie came at you from behind, trying to pin your arms to your sides. You stomped down hard on his instep, causing him to loosen his grip. You elbowed him in the solar plexus, bringing him to his knees.

Percy, Fred, and George all came at you at once. Your years of training with S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn't have prepared you for this moment. Your brothers were absolutely relentless. It was if Hive's influence made them unable to feel pain. You struggled to stay on your feet. 

All of you were covered in blood, most of it theirs. They didn't seem to want to kill you at first. Hive must have given them orders to bring you in alive, if possible. It was becoming clear to them that you weren't going to cooperate and you weren't going to go in quietly. The tide began to turn, and their attacks became more vicious. Your father had remained in the background, watching.

At some point in the fight, your instincts took over and you began fighting for your life. Ron was the first one to go down permanently. He came at you with a knife aimed straight at your heart. You had only meant to break his nose, but you hit him too hard, and before you knew what had happened, he was falling to the ground, dead.

A strangled cry escaped you when you realized what you had done. Your other brothers looked at one another, making a silent decision amongst themselves. The next few minutes were a blur of knives and fists, each one of your brothers falling before you as you efficiently dispatched each and every one of them. 

When the last one lay dead at your feet, you fell to your knees, completely spent with tears burning your eyes as you screamed in agony. Your father slowly approached you, reaching out for you.

"(Y/N), my dear," he said completely devoid of emotion. "I think you've done enough damage for one day. It's time to admit defeat and join us."

"Daddy," you whimpered. "Please don't make me do this. Dear God, please don't make me do this!"

Your father gave you no choice. When he realized that you weren't going to concede defeat, he brought a knife to your throat, ready to kill you. You grabbed his hand, turning the knife and burying it in his chest.

He fell to the ground before you, a thin trickle of blood seeping from his mouth as his life slowly drained away. You pulled him into your lap, wrapping your arms around him, sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," you cried. "I'm so sorry. I love you, Daddy. Please forgive me."

"You're no daughter of mine," you father muttered with his final breaths. "You were never good enough. You'll never be good enough."

Realizing that Hive's influence would have never been reversed, you screamed at the injustice of it all. All of your self-control broke at that point and the full force of your abilities were released. Your eyes glowed an unearthly red as the walls surrounding you erupted in flames. 

The blaze quickly consumed the entire building, forcing your team to rapidly evacuate. Unbeknownst to you, Hive also escaped. The team feared the worst for you.

It wasn't until the flames had died that Coulson found you amidst the charred remains of the building. You were completely unscathed, still clutching your father's lifeless body to your chest as you rocked back and forth, your sobs reduced to mere whimpers. 

Coulson had to pry your fingers off one by one before you would let go of your father. Your eyes were wild and unfocused. Coulson carefully picked you up and carried you back to the jet before you finally fell into unconsciousness.

It was a week before you came out of your stupor, but the events at the Hydra base were just too horrific for you to process. You had completely repressed the memories your mind simply couldn't handle.

 

 

Present Day

Bucky held onto you, sobs continuing to rack your body as the memories came flooding back. Your grief was so great, Bucky couldn't hold back his tears either. He silently cried for you as he continued to offer his comfort.

"I wish I had died in that fire with them, Bucky," you finally choked out between sobs. "I don't deserve to live after what I did. If I had only admitted what I was, I could have gotten to them before Hive did"

"You can't blame yourself, doll," Bucky whispered. "You didn't have a choice. Hive didn't give you a choice. If you hadn't done what you did, they would have killed countless innocent people. They wouldn't have wanted to live with that guilt. Trust me when I say that, the guilt is almost unbearable."

"How do you do it?" you asked. "How do you live with this guilt?"

"Steve, Sam, and Natasha help," he murmured into your hair as he kissed the top of your head. "You have helped me, too. The fact that you can accept me for who I am, and what I've done makes it a little easier. You know that it stills haunts me, though. I think it always will."

"Coulson knew I was going to need you, didn't he?" you asked, finally pulling back to look him in the eye.

"Yeah," he admitted. "I think he knew we'd need each other. He's a smart man."

"You were right," you admitted.

"About what?" he asked.

"The truth sucks," you replied. "But I'm glad it's you. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else here with me right now."

You looked deep into his eyes. They were full of love and compassion and understanding. You had been so blind all of these months. So stupid. You knew things were never going to be the same for you, but you had someone that understood what you were going through. Someone that loved you in spite of what you had done.

"I love you, too, Bucky," you said as you buried your face into his chest again, tears silently falling.


	11. Epilogue

You didn't know how long you and Bucky kneeled together in the grass, your arms wrapped around one another. All you knew was that being held in his arms made things a little easier to bear. 

It had to end, eventually. Bucky twisted his body and placed his right hand behind your knees. In one movement, he had you scooped up into his arms and rose to walk back to the compound. Your arms were still tightly wrapped around his neck, your face buried in his shoulder.

"I guess it's fitting," you spoke after a moment.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Name me one superhero that doesn't have a tragic past?" you asked.

Bucky took a second to think before he responded. "That's not exactly true. I know a lot of evil men that have had tragic pasts. Take Zemo and the Spiderkid. They both lost their families, but they ending up on opposite sides. I don't think it's the tragedy that makes you a hero or a villain. Rather, its how you deal with it that determines which way you go. Either one of us could go down the dark path, but that's not the choice we made. Choosing to use our abilities for good is what is going to get us through the grief and the guilt."

You felt the elevator come to a stop and heard the doors open. Bucky began walking down the hall toward the bedrooms. He stopped suddenly, making you wonder what obstacle he had encountered.

"(Y/n)?" a familiar voice whispered.

You turned your head to find Coulson standing in the hallway, a look of concern on his face. You turned to look at Bucky and gave him a small nod. He gently lowered your feet to the floor. Turning, you walked into the open arms of your friend.

You could feel the tears streaming down Coulson's face as he held you close to him. "I'm so sorry. I know that this is killing you right now. I wish there was something I could do to make it better for you."

"I know you do," you whispered, choking back a sob. "Maybe if I hadn't been so stubborn, we could have gotten to them first. We could have saved them from Hive. . . from me."

"You can't keep playing the 'what if' game," he warned. "The guilt will eat you alive. You need to take some time, learn to accept that what happened is done and try to forgive yourself. Barnes will be right here, helping you every step of the way."

"I hated you so much for sending me here, Phil," you admitted, dropping the formalities. "I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time about it. I can see now that you only had my best interests at heart. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Let's hope we never have to find out," he answered.

Bucky had started to lead you back to his room, but you stopped when you spotted Steve hanging back in the shadows. His eyes were full of sadness and concern for you. That man never failed to amaze you. 

"Where's Nat?" you inquired.

"She's in her room with Tony," Steve informed you.

You turned to look up at Bucky. "I need to do this by myself. I'll meet you back in your room."

You hesitantly knocked on the door. You could hear muffled voices abruptly stop at the sound. You waited patiently, and after a few moments, Tony opened the door.

He looked as though he wanted to say something, but for the first time since you had known the man, he held his tongue. He gave you a small nod before he turned into the hallway, leaving you in the doorway.

"Come in," Natasha invited. 

"First of all, I want to apologize," you began.

Natasha held up a hand to stop you. "There's no need, (Y/N). I would have done the exact same thing. I'm actually impressed that you were able to gain the upper hand."

You let out a relieved sigh. Natasha closed the distance between the two of you and enveloped you in a hug. "I'm here for you if you ever need to talk, (Y/N). Bucky's not the only one who knows how hard it is to live with the guilt of your actions. We're all here for you."

You made your way back to Bucky's room. By this point, you were absolutely exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for days. Bucky handed you an old t-shirt of his for you to sleep in and soon you were cocooned in his arms, drifting off into unconsciousness. Your body craved sleep, but your mind had other plans. 

The months you spent repressing memories came back to haunt you in the form of nightmares, making you relive the worst moment of your life night after night. Bucky was always there to bring you back to reality, to comfort you, just as you had comforted him. The two of you continued to grow closer every day.

 

 

Two Weeks Later – Christmas Day

As the weeks passed, you slowly began to return to your normal self. Not the one that the Avengers knew from the previous months, but the one that you had been before you had become an Inhuman. You were still grieving, but your new friends were kind and supportive and you were slowly learning to forgive yourself.

Christmas was still going to be a tough one, though. Tony had gone all out, just as he always did for the holidays. He had decorated the common room with yards garland and lights and personally cut down the tree glimmering in the corner.

Sam had chosen to spend the holiday with his family, so there was only you, Bucky, Steve, Nat, and Tony to celebrate the day. Tony had woken everyone up before the sun, giddy as a child and full of impatience.

The five of you sat around the tree in your pajamas opening your presents. Bucky had taken you into the city a few days before so that you could purchase a few items for the team. Tony had seem thrilled when he opened the collectors set of Avengers Pez dispensers. He shot you a goofy grin as he searched through the presents under the tree. Finding the one he wanted, he hesitantly handed it to you.

It was small box, no bigger than the palm of your hand. You could tell by looking at it, that he had wrapped it himself. Carefully untying the bow, you slipped the box from the paper and opened the lid. Nestled in a square of velvet was a silver chain with a teardrop shaped pendant. You cradled the necklace in your palm as you tried to decipher the design on the pendant. The circular ridges were raised in the form of a fingerprint. You looked at Tony questioningly.

"It's your dad's fingerprint," he explained. "I called in a few favors to get a copy of it. No matter what he said at the end, he was proud of you, (Y/N). This will just help you keep a part of him close to your heart."

Tears blurred your vision as you rose to walk over to him. Sinking to your knees beside him, you wrapped your arms around him, your emotions too overwhelming to allow you to speak more than a few words. "Thank you, Tony. This means the world to me."

 

 

Six Months Later

"She's coming along, don't you think, Sam?" Natasha asked as the two of them observed the training session currently underway.

"If you had told me a year ago that we'd be here watching this, I would have called you a liar," he responded.

You were in the middle of the room surrounded by Bucky, Steve, Wanda, Vision, Thor, and Tony. They were all coming at you at once, trying to subdue you. You were effortlessly forming balls of fire in your hands, shooting them one right after the other at your "attackers." They were using all their own skills to deflect the flames, but every now and then, one would hit their mark.

Tony had tasked Dum-E with fire safety, thus making sure you didn't burn the place to the ground during training sessions. He had a bad habit of dousing Tony every few minutes, even if he wasn't on fire. He had even gotten you the few times that you had held on to a fireball too long while you waited for the opportune moment to attack. As serious as the training was, it was nice to know that you could all share in a few laughs as well.

 

 

Eight Months Later 

You walked into the room you now shared with Bucky. You were confused because F.R.I.D.A.Y. had informed you that he was there waiting for you, but the room was empty. Taking one last look around, you spotted the envelope on the bed next to a rectangular box. The envelope had your name written on the front in Bucky's unmistakable handwriting. Opening the flap on the back, you pulled a single sheet of cardstock from inside. "Change into this and meet me on the roof."

You smiled as you rolled your eyes. He could be a bit dramatic at times, but that's why you loved him. Placing the envelope back on the bed, you picked up the box. Opening it you found a dress, a set of lacy lingerie and a pair of Louboutin pumps. Changing quickly, you turned and made your way to the elevator.

The doors of the elevator opened, but you didn't make a move to exit. The scene in front of you had your feet rooted to the spot. The roof was illuminated by thousands of tiny lights strung up in rows above your head. There was a trail of rose petals from the elevator door to a small table in the center of the roof. It looked as if the roof had been converted into a botanical garden with all of the various plants and decorative trees filling the space. 

As beautiful as all of this was, it wasn't what had you standing frozen inside of the elevator. It was the man standing by the table, pouring two glasses of champagne into crystal flutes. His hair was slicked back into a neat bun at the nape of his neck. He was dressed all in black, the suit obviously custom made for him. 

The sight of him had your heart stopping for a beat as you struggled to catch your breath. You gathered your wits about you and began walking the short distance to him. His eyes rose to meet yours as you moved, the combination of love and lust in his making you a bit weak in the knees.

He ran his hands down your arms as he placed a kiss on your lips. He smiled at you, before his eyes traveled down the length of your body, taking in the full sight of you in the dress he had chosen. Heat spread through your body at the thought of him knowing exactly what you wore under the dress as well. As if reading your mind, his eyes met yours again with a mischievous glint. 

Turning back toward the small table, he picked up a small black velvet box and sank down on one knee. Your breath caught in your throat as your hands formed a steeple covering your mouth and nose.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)," he began. "You are the kindest, bravest, most compassionate woman I have ever met. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You are not only the woman I love, but my best friend as well. I wake up every morning, grateful that you are in my life, that you love me as much as I love you. I can't stand the thought of living a single day without you. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?'

Opening the box, he revealed a beautiful clear diamond surrounded by smaller pale blue ones set in a platinum band. You lowered your left hand as he took the ring from the box and carefully slid it onto your third finger. The emotions were overwhelming you and all you could say was a breathless, "Yes."


End file.
